Friendship as a Christian theological category

Many people ask me, “What does your church believe?” While this question is understandable, it is bothersome as well. The splinters within Christianity have left us wondering if there is any common ground on which we can stand. I want to offer what I think is an interesting starting place–friendship as a theological category.

 The vitality of Christian theology is its inherently relational character. As such, considering friendship a theological category could have an important impact on theological application within the pastoral college as well as in the local church. William Willimon asserts, “An ethic of character demands the practices of friendship. . . The demands of ministerial character are so great that they cannot be met without daily, sustained interaction with those whose values are our own and in whose company we flourish.” Augustine asked, “Is not the unfeigned confidence and mutual love of true and good friends our one solace in human society, filled as it is with misunderstandings and calamities?” A bit out of their original context, but profoundly apropos, are Willimon’s words, “This makes it all the more tragic that pastors are some of the loneliest people in the church.”

If pastors are lonley, and yet they are to be the shepherds, the ones who lead others beside still waters, what can be done? On the one hand we can spiritualize it and tell them that Jesus is their friend. While this is true, does this comment alone not lead us into gnosticism? Does it not neglect, if not deny, the incarnation?

In wonder how a theological understanding of friendship might shape a Christian’s self-understanding which can sustain the hearts of both pastors and parishoners, inspire the hearts of believers, and ignite the hearts of the lost.