Psalm 34:11-14 and Friendship

Benedict used this psalm as a rational for starting his cenobite school. God, he says, askes the question of the world, “What man is there who desires live and loves many days, that he may see good?” In other words–who would like to live a long time nad have a happy life? Obviously rhetorical. However, it brings up some interesting points. One is that long life and happiness are the design and that death and sadness are the enemy.

Then the answer to all of life is given, “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

I cannot help but hear Paul’s words that begin the second chapter of his letter to the Philippians–”So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”

We must see each other not as external entities but as internal parts of the same whole. We are them and they are us. In order to obtain world peace, we must have peace in our world–the world that lies within our daily lives, the world that is constituted by our individual relationships.

Benedict reasoned that our desire to turn from evil would naturally turn us toward one another. After that turn, the work, according to Paul, begins. Our relational status with one another is a litmus test for our relational status with God. This is nothing new, nothing profound, but rather something so common and mundane that it is easy to overlook. In a world that changes rapidly, we look for the next “paradigm shift.” We even tend to try to author the “next big thing.” Yet Peter admonishes us, “Above all, love one another deeply, for love covers over a multitude of sins.” 

Friendship as a Christian theological category

Many people ask me, “What does your church believe?” While this question is understandable, it is bothersome as well. The splinters within Christianity have left us wondering if there is any common ground on which we can stand. I want to offer what I think is an interesting starting place–friendship as a theological category.

 The vitality of Christian theology is its inherently relational character. As such, considering friendship a theological category could have an important impact on theological application within the pastoral college as well as in the local church. William Willimon asserts, “An ethic of character demands the practices of friendship. . . The demands of ministerial character are so great that they cannot be met without daily, sustained interaction with those whose values are our own and in whose company we flourish.” Augustine asked, “Is not the unfeigned confidence and mutual love of true and good friends our one solace in human society, filled as it is with misunderstandings and calamities?” A bit out of their original context, but profoundly apropos, are Willimon’s words, “This makes it all the more tragic that pastors are some of the loneliest people in the church.”

If pastors are lonley, and yet they are to be the shepherds, the ones who lead others beside still waters, what can be done? On the one hand we can spiritualize it and tell them that Jesus is their friend. While this is true, does this comment alone not lead us into gnosticism? Does it not neglect, if not deny, the incarnation?

In wonder how a theological understanding of friendship might shape a Christian’s self-understanding which can sustain the hearts of both pastors and parishoners, inspire the hearts of believers, and ignite the hearts of the lost.